Boss: We have no work for you!
Me: I knew you wouldn't. That's why I prepared to do personal work all day and hang around until you need me.
Boss: You can't do personal work here. Security problem.
Me: You have negative security. I could be in a coma and disable your entire network from the Moon.
Boss: Oh well. Go home.
Me: Fine.
*in car, get phone call*
Boss: OMFG, CLIENT NEEDS PIXELS! HALP!!!!!!111!!11!!
Me: Sounds like a you problem.
*hang up*
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